It's been a good few weeks now since prince Pietro first got himself stranded in the strange world of Galariland, and we now have two Farms of Light under our belt, filling in roughly half of the game's map as we went (for the story so far, be sure to check out Diary #1 and #2). We've explored dense forests, climbed snow capped mountains and tackled maze-like ruins; we've escaped from prison, cured some ill cows and helped some potentially shady individuals find the materials to make a giant drill - and of course, we've farmed, farmed and farmed some more, as we help to rid Galariland of the darkness that's been polluting its land. And, for little Pietro, who rests on the cusp of adulthood, having just crossed the threshold into his teenage years, a whole new world has opened up - a world of women.
Pietro is a chat up line PRO. Not.
You see, almost every major town across Galariland has an exotic young lady vying for a little royal attention - and, according to your little fairy friend, these ladies are special. Blessed by Lady Galariel, the goddess that watches over Galariland, growing closer to the womenfolk will yield you all kinds of benefits on your farm, perhaps making your crops grow faster, or letting you recover more materials when mining - so it's well worth your while getting to know them.
What starts off as a simple hello when you first pass through their town, though, soon turns into veritable slave-driving, because these gals are clingy. Give them a turnip, and they'll take a mile, sending you messages while you're in the middle of a dungeon a million miles away saying that 'Emilia is missing you…'. Still, at least the non-stop nagging will prepare little Pietro for when he gets a real girlfriend as, let's face it, we're all pretty clingy at times too.
Of course, when we talk about getting a "real" girlfriend, real is the operative word here, because there's a bit of a romantic elephant in the room in Popolocrois - a cute, blonde, witch-shaped elephant in the form of Narcia, whom some of you may remember from our first diary entry. The object of Pietro's affections back in his home world of PopoloCrois, Narcia is technically the 'canon' sort-of-girlfriend, and is the biggest spanner thrown into the traditional romance options. Whereas normally, you find an eligible bachelorette and put all your efforts into winning them over in the hope of walking them down the aisle, relationships in Return to PopoloCrois are strictly platonic - Pietro is instantly friend-zoned by each and every maiden he encounters, the poor kid, as it's like everyone knows Pietro still has the hots for Narcia, even though she's literally worlds away. No matter how many times you talk to them, and no matter how many lovingly tended turnips you give them, you'll simply grow closer as friends. Maybe Pietro is secretly scared Narcia will find out and turn him into a frog or something; who knows.
We wouldn't mind ourselves a pink eskimo suit at the moment!
So far, we've met three of Galarailand's five lady folk, each of which has their own unique personality, back story and likes and dislikes, with the latter being especially important when it comes to playing the field. Giving them items they like will make them more friendly towards you, and we found that items like oranges and peaches seemed to be universally well received - turnips, much less so, particularly by the quiet, bookish Claudia from Eodor. No sooner had we thrust our giant turnip in her face, an expectant grin plastered across our visage, than she whispered "Pietro, I… I'm sorry." she said, "I don't mean to be rude, but I really don't like these. I hope you're not offended", as a little part of us died inside. #Denied. You know what they say - you marry me, you marry my turnips, and you, young Claudia, have just made my list.
Fortunately, the remaining girls were much more receptive to our turnip-y wiles - the strong-willed tomboy Emilia, was so taken with her root vegetable she decided to introduce us to her finest asset. Big, round and heavy, the hypnotising way she swings it brings all the boys to the yard - we're talking about her hammer, of course, and as the daughter of Lampling's chief quarry man, it comes as no surprise that she can crack a few rocks. Then there's the sweet and innocent Leyla from the snowy mountain top, who seems to have fallen hard for our little princely protagonist - yet he's blissfully unaware of the whole thing, despite her nervous laughter and stumbled words. Apparently, it's a bit lonely up there, and the lack of any greenery seems to make her a bit depressed until Pietro visits - but the thick-headed prince instead waffles on about how jelly he is of her being able to build snowmen all day, every day. We can't really blame Leyla though; if a dishy young prince showed up in your town, and singled you out to talk to and shower with gifts (read: turnips), you'd be pretty stuck for words too.
We hope Narcia's not listening...
But, like the ladies of PopoloCrois, we're afraid we must love you and leave you now - we've just met a new lady-friend, Lily, who's apparently crazy for insects, and she's missing us terribly, so we're going to take her a freshly-synthesised omelette. Don't forget to tune in next week for our fourth and final diary, where we do… things! And stuff! And lots of it! YAY! For more Popolocrois, be sure to check out our full review, and our parent's guide!
